


A Needed Balm

by LokiNeedsHugs1031



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Castiel, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Bunker, Crying, Crying Dean, Crying Dean Winchester, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e14 The Raid, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Hurt, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mary Winchester sucks, Men Crying, Post-Episode: s12e14 The Raid, Protective Castiel, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, fixing this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10062608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiNeedsHugs1031/pseuds/LokiNeedsHugs1031
Summary: Dean works through the aftermath of Mary's decision. Sam calls someone to help.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, this night's episode. Good going Mary, you are awesome, saying Dean is 'I'm not a mother and you're not a child' you don't know SHIT about his life. GOD! Oh, okay, rant over. Please enjoy the fluff and a character that we all love and need more on this show.

            “Cas, yeah, it’s Sam,” Sam said into his phone, he flinched again when he heard another glass break as it was thrown against the wall and an angry grunt from his brother, “You need to get here asap.”

            “What’s wrong?” Cas asked.

            Sam exhaled roughly, pressing fingers into his eyes to stop the burning that had been threatening to produce tears over the last hour, “It’s Mom…she’s finally outta the bunker and you need to get here now. Dean’s having a melt-down…I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this.”

            “I’m on my way,” and the phone went quiet.

            Sam listened to his brother destroy the kitchen and just as he was about to pocket his phone again he had an idea.

 

            It was almost an hour when the bunker door creaked open, “Sam?” Cas voiced as soon as he locked eyes with the younger hunter, “Where is he?”

            “He’s got himself locked in his bedroom and he won’t let me in,” Sam sighed, both hands slapping at his sides. “Went in there with a bottle about 15 minutes ago, at least he stopped breaking things.”

            “I’m glad you called me, what happened?” Cas said, hurrying down the steps.

            “Mom…she’s…” he shuddered, eyes lowering to the floor, “She’s been working with the British Men of Letters this whole time…that last case…where you got so hurt…she was working THEIR case. She said some…stupid things and Dean’s not taking it well. I knew he wouldn’t call you and I was right. He destroyed the kitchen…wouldn’t let me near’em.”

            “Okay Sam, I’ve got this,” he laid a hand on Sam’s arm, which finally garnered him eye-contact, “Are you alright?”

            Sam chewed at the inside of his mouth and shook his head, “Better than Dean…but no, not really…”

            “If you need to talk I’m here,” Cas offered, squeezing that same arm.

            “Go take care of him, I’ll talk to ya later.”

            Cas nodded and made his way down the hall, he paused outside of the door and then knocked softly.

            “I said I’m fine Sam!”

            “Dean, it’s me. Why don’t you open the door,” he tested the knob with a careful turn.

            The other side of the door went quiet, “Sam call you?”

            “He did, now please open the door?”

            He was expecting more of a fight, but then the door was creaking open, “You came home right away?”

            “Of course I did,” Cas frowned at the nature of Dean’s state, he wasn’t drunk, yet, and his eyes were red-rimmed but his face was dry, “You are in need of me.”

            Dean turned away, leaving the door open so Cas would follow. Cas closed the door behind them, “Sam told me a little of what happened…”

            Dean sniffed, taking a swig of the amber liquid, “I told her to leave…shoulda said get the fuck out.”

            “Dean,” Cas near whispered, taking his free hand, tugging gently.

            Dean squeezed back, but still faced the wall, hiding, “You coulda died Cas,” his voice finally broke, “And it was because she chose a bunch of assholes over us…can I not have one good parent? Do they both have to have agendas? Dad with the yellow-eyed demon…and now…I don’t expect her…to be Susie home maker…b-but I need her here. And she doesn’t wanna be. We did everything she asked…we gave her space and she still…”

            Cas waited patiently, knowing that sooner or later Dean would break, he could hear it, feel it, he squeezed his hand tighter a non-verbal ‘I’m right here’.

            “Said I wasn’t a child…” the hitch in his voice grew in strength, and his tone lowered, “I never was a child Cas…I didn’t get to be a kid…Dad made sure of that…she has no idea…because she doesn’t ask…doesn’t…doesn’t even try to get to know us. This is worse than her being dead…because she doesn’t wanna be here. What’s…what’s wrong with me?”

            And Cas knew his cue, with a little more fervency he urged Dean around, and his face was now wet, tears streaming endlessly, full lips trembling and cheeks flushed red, “There’s nothing wrong with you Dean, nothing,” he pressed his palm to Dean’s face, brushing away the tears that kept coming. Finally, the sob that had been aching to be released popped up so suddenly that Dean winced, and then he was falling forward, burying his face in Cas’ neck.

            Cas maneuvered Dean to the bed and gathered him closer in his arms as the man he loved fell apart. He’d seen Dean close to tears, a few tears falling, lips trembling but never sobs like this. It frightened him, and with all the new information, infuriated him, “Shhh, I’m right here,” he murmured against the shell of his ear, one hand caressing his back the other threading through the short strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

            Dean’s fists were clenched up in the trench-coat and Cas could feel him full body shaking, cries coming up so quickly he couldn’t catch his breath. They sat on the bed for the longest time as Dean cried himself into exhaustion, before long he was slumping further against the angel, twitching with the fierceness of his outburst. Cas pressed a kiss to his temple, rocking the man back and forth.

            Eventually Dean pushed away, scrubbing at his face and sniffling, “Sorry about that…”

            Cas cupped his face, tenderly brushing both thumbs beneath his puffy eyes, “What are you sorry for?”

            “S’embrassing. You’re the first person I’ve been able to do this,” he motioned with his hands between them, “With…always had to be strong for Sam…when Dad was having an outburst…or disappeared and I wasn’t sure if we’d be able to eat. Had to hide how worried or scared I was, even now.” he gulped loudly, closing his eyes and leaning into Cas’ touch, “You’re the only one…and because of her…I could have lost you. She had us believin’ that it had been a hunt gone wrong, and you getting hurt? That makes it even worse…”

            Cas took a breath, crossing the space between them and kissed one cheek, Dean whimpered, and then the other, before settling on his lips. Dean only sighed fuller, falling into Cas’ touch and returning the affection like it was a burst of needed oxygen, “But I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m not going anywhere Dean. Not anymore. You are all I’ve ever wanted and I love you. I do not know why Mary would do this…I don’t understand her reasoning, but I assure you that I will never abandon you. Do not take her actions as a reflection on us.” he kissed him again, delving deeper in a way that made Dean whine, for a few careful seconds they did just that. Kissing. “Look at me.” and Dean did, eye-lashes damp, brow furrowed as he ran his tongue over his lips, “I love you.”

            “I love you too,” Dean hiccoughed, and a weak sob broke his speech, “I’m so tired Cas…I’m just so tired…”

            One more Cas frowned, the hurt and exhaustion was radiating off his human like an electrical hum, “Why don’t we go to bed.”

            Dean swallowed roughly and nodded, placing both hands over Cas’ that were still cradling his face. He turned his head and kissed Cas’ palm, lingering there, closing his eyes with the action. Cas smiled, swiping his thumb across his freckled cheek.

            Cas began undressing Dean without prompting, pushing the flannel past his shoulders, removing his shoes. He leaned up and kissed Dean’s lips, “Lie back so I can get your jeans off.” Dean did as told, falling back to the mattress and jamming the heels of his hands over his eyes as the remainder of his emotional state trembled out of him.

            Cas undid the button of his pants, “Lift up,” he leaned over and chastely kissed the jut of Dean’s hipbones and slid the pants down past his ankles. Soon enough he was only in his t-shirt and boxers, “You want pajamas?”

            “No,” Dean muttered, his voice sounding drunk now even though Cas was sure he hadn’t gotten that far, “S’fine.”

            Cas shed his own layers, Dean was watching him as if afraid he’d leave, and then Cas was urging Dean to get under the covers. Cas expected some wrangling, usually did when they ‘didn’t cuddle’ but as soon as he laid back Dean was quickly scrambling upwards to cover Cas’ body with his own, arms locked around him and nuzzling against the flesh of Cas’ throat. Cas sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Dean’s shoulders in return, holding him firm, but gently.

            Dean’s chest continued to hitch with the spent cries as Cas buried his long fingers into Dean’s short hair, scratching his scalp in the way that he knew would have the hunter fast asleep in no time.

            “Thanks for coming home,” Dean slurred, on the edge of sleep already, “I really needed you here.”

            “You should have called me, I’m glad Sam did.” Cas answered, kissing his tepid forehead.

            “Me too, sorry…head was all over the place…” Dean murmured, half-consciously kissing Cas’ throat, it required no movement given how flush he was against the angel.

            “Next time you feel like this, you contact me. I’ll come home right away.” Cas reprimanded.

            “Mhmm,” Dean mumbled and then Cas knew he was gone, he continued to pet his scalp, hoping that he would sleep dreamlessly.

            Cas had the want to check on Sam as well. His heart sank a little knowing Sam had no one to do these things for him. He could plainly see that Dean was taking this harder than his younger brother but still, he worried. But given how Dean had turned into a cuddle octopus he knew he wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Dean’s eyes burned like crazy when he finally opened them, and he inhaled unevenly, a product of such a violent outburst. The scent of his angel was all around him and for a moment he was completely content and calm. But then yesterday’s events came barreling at him and he groaned. He angled his head upwards, balancing his chin on Cas’ chest and the angel was out. Arms were still wrapped loosely around him, groggily he glanced at the clock. 10am. He wondered where Sammy was and how he was handling this. Guilt ate at his gut with that thought. He done the opposite of what he usually did. Hiding it away. But Cas did something to him that made him want to spill, so not his usual MO.

            “I can’t read your mind, but you think awfully loud,” Cas’ voice broke the silence, “Sam was worried about you.”

            “Yeah,” Dean replied, his voice rough and worn. Fuck, his throat actually hurt and he was sure his eyes were swollen. He pushed up from Cas’ chest, scrubbing at his eyes. Cas followed him, and he felt lips to his naked shoulders, “We should go check on him. He’s supposed to be the sensitive one.” he tried to joke and failed, biting his bottom lips between his teeth, “I have you, he doesn’t have anybody.”

            “You should not feel guilty though,” Cas countered.

            “Not guilty, just worried,” Dean huffed, leaning sideways and falling against Cas. Cas’ fingertips were in his hair again, “You keep that up I’ll fall right back to sleep.”

            Cas kissed the top of his head causing Dean to move his head up and capture the angel’s lips, “You need more rest.”

            “Yeah, but I need to eat first. Didn’t eat yesterday,” Dean groaned and so did his stomach.

            Cas smiled, soft and sleepy in a way that Dean found ridiculously endearing, “Then I must feed you.” he nuzzled Dean’s throat, dragging his lips across his pulse point with huff of breath, “Come on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

            After loosely dressing in the clothes from the day before the couple shuffled towards the kitchen, “Sam must be up,” Dean said, lacing their fingers together and pulling Cas closer, “I smell food.”

            They both entered the kitchen and Dean was about to praise Sam for the obvious cooking of bacon but it wasn’t Sam at the stove.

            “Jody?” Dean croaked, hand clenching Cas’ a little harder than he meant to, “W-What are you doing here?”

            Jody pursed her lips and slung the tee-towel over her shoulder, “Sam said you two have had a rough couple days. You didn’t have to have a crisis to call me but I thought I’d come and check in. Bring it in,” she didn’t even hesitate, with a sympathetic smile on her face she pulled Dean into a hug. He felt last night’s emotions starting to rise and he found himself burying his face in her shoulder and holding tight. And she was holding him just as firmly and patting his back, “You boys need some rest, huh?”

            Dean had a hard time catching his breath, his face scrunched up with threatening tears, “Yeah I guess we do,” he managed, “Haven’t really had a chance.”

            “Hey Cas,” she gave the same smile, putting her arms around the angel as well, his eyes going signature wide in shock, “You guys should come by my place, bunk for a couple days. Gives me an excuse to cook for someone else besides spoiled teenagers.”

            “It’s okay,” Cas whispered close to Dean’s ear as Jody moved back to the stove, steering him towards the center table. Dean bit his bottom lip again to keep in control and he let Cas seat him, allowed the arm around his waist.

            “So when were you gonna tell me that you two idiots got together?” Jody asked, setting a full plate of eggs, toast and bacon in front of Dean.

            “I uh, well,” Dean stuttered, “Now?”

            “Called it, funny thing is everybody knew but you two,” she smirked with a wink, “Eat up.”

            Sam stumbled into the kitchen as well, obviously fresh from the shower, “Hey, Dean, you alright?”

            “Good as I can be Sammy,” Dean answered, digging into his plate with gusto, “Thanks for…calling everybody…I…” he paused, fork in mid-air, “I appreciate it…”

            Sam nodded, taking a seat next to him and Cas, “We need some backup and who better than to call, right?”

            Dean glanced back at Jody still working at the stove, “No one better.”

            “Well it’s my day off,” Jody interrupted brightly, “So you owe me a Netflix marathon, and it is romcon all the way. You can fool me all you want Dean, but you love that chick flick shit.”

            Dean smiled against the burning in his chest, “You got me, but a good slasher is just as welcome.”

            “Whatever,” she ruffled his hair as she passed, placing a plate in front of Sam, “You can manplain all you want. And just for that? We’re watching The Notebook.”

           

            They finished up breakfast and as Sam was washing dishes, Jody was fiddling with setting up the movie and Cas was settling down beside him. His touch was never-ending and Dean was grateful, even though he knew usually he would scoff at the touchy-feely stuff. But Cas’ hand never left him, and he found it grounding. It kept him from wanting to fall apart in front of the woman that was the closest thing he had to a mother. And Jody, never once, made one comment. Which he was also grateful for.

            “Get ready for the feels,” she smirked, successfully finding The Notebook. She plopped down next to Dean who was snug against Cas already.

            She was quiet for a moment, face going serious and then she turned to him, “You know I’m always here for you, right?”

            Dean inhaled roughly, “I-I know that.”

            “For anything,” she said sternly, “You should have called me sooner with all this crap. And yeah, Sam filled me in. He was a mess last night.”

            Dean’s eyes were burning again and he nodded, “I know. I-I shouldn’t have…gone off like I did.”

            “Why be sorry?” Jody snapped, “I’d have done the same thing and I thank the good Lord that you have this one.” she gestured to Cas, “It was a long thing coming, do not apologize Winchester. I don’t know all the foot notes of this…shit-storm… but I know this. If you were my boys it would be different. Got that? I won’t bad mouth…but…I-I can’t…I wouldn’t do that to my son. And you two…I kinda feel like I adopted you so you better check in more often. Not just when shit hits the fan, got it?”

            Dean nodded, he swiped at an unruly tear just as Jody patted his cheek, “Alright, get ready to start quoting this damn thing. You should understand a lot of it, this whole ‘you’re a bird I’m a bird’. Cas is definitely your bird.”

            “What?” Dean and Cas simultaneously asked.

            “Trust me,” Jody laughed.

            The four of them were dozing by the time the movie was ending, and Dean may or may not have chuckled at how Cas choked up genuinely towards the end of the movie when the couple died in their sleep. He sobered up quickly when he thought of it in reality though. That he wanted to go out like that. Warm and comfortable with Cas at his side, he held Cas closer, not saying anything. But Cas seemed to read his mind, hell he always seemed to read his mind and firmly kissed his cheek.

            “Okay, something lighter now, I forgot how damn sad that ending was,” she nudged Dean’s leg, “Your choice kiddo.”

            “Star Wars all the way,” Dean grinned, “Cas hasn’t seen’em.”

            “Oh, that is a crime,” Jody shook her head, and then was searching through Netflix.

            Dean hadn’t even been remotely aware that he was somewhat distracted by having her so nearby, in such a comforting way that he felt sad, as strange as that sounded. He’d propped his feet up on the coffee table and unconsciously moved closer to her side. They were half-way into the first film when Jody swung an arm around Dean’s shoulders and urged him to rest his head on her shoulder without a word. Of which he did.

            Dean glanced sideways at Cas, who only smiled and kept his fingers intertwined with his own, giving a supportive squeeze.

            Dean sighed deeply and closed his eyes. He didn’t know where things would go with his Mother. Mary. But for now, he had everything he needed right here.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are literal hugs for Dean. Do it.


End file.
